Self-Help

The path to recovery is different for every victim of a mass violence incident. Self-help resources may be useful as a way to begin your own healing process or to provide help to a child or someone close to you. These resources are not a substitute for treatment from a health care professional, but they may help you learn important skills and coping strategies.

For information about crisis counseling, victim assistance services, legal assistance, or finding a therapist, click here.

People may have a variety of reactions after a mass violence incident. These reactions may be experienced by:

  • Victims who were directly affected by the incident
  • Family, friends and others who are closely associated with a victim
  • People who witnessed or heard details about the incident

 

The following tip sheets can help you understand common trauma reactions that people may have after a mass violence incident.

Twelve Self-Help Tips for Coping

This tip sheet offers practical things that can be done to help reduce the distress created by MVIs as well as some self-help resources you may find useful.

Open

For Teens: Coping After Mass Violence

Provides information for teens regarding common reactions to mass violence, and tips for self-care and connecting with other victims.

Open

NCTSN - NATIONAL CHILD TRAUMATIC STRESS NETWORK

College Students: Coping after the Recent Shooting

Offers information for college students on how to cope after involvement in a shooting. This fact sheet provides information on common trauma reactions, and what they can do for themselves.

Read This

SAMHSA - SUBSTANCE ABUSE AND MENTAL HEALTH SERVICES ADMINISTRATION

Tips for Survivors of a Disaster or Other Traumatic Event: Managing Stress

Describes possible emotional, physical and behavioral reactions to a disaster or traumatic event to help survivors identify early warning signs of stress, and provides practical tips for relieving this stress.

Read This

SAMHSA - SUBSTANCE ABUSE AND MENTAL HEALTH SERVICES ADMINISTRATION

Tips for Survivors: Coping with Grief after a Traumatic Event

Provides information about grief, the grieving process and complicated or traumatic grief. It also offers practical coping tips for those who are personally experiencing grief following involvement in a traumatic event.

Read This

SAMHSA - SUBSTANCE ABUSE AND MENTAL HEALTH SERVICES ADMINISTRATION

Tips for Survivors of a Disaster or Traumatic Event: What to Expect in Your Personal, Family, Work and Financial Life

Helps survivors of disasters or traumatic events better understand what to expect in their personal, family, work and financial lives in the days and weeks after the incident. Provides tips for coping with and managing these changes, and details signs that may show that a survivor needs more help managing their stress.

Read This

The following tip sheets describe strategies that may help someone cope after a mass violence incident. Everyone is different. What works for some may not work for others.

Professional treatment may be helpful to you if you have had troubling thoughts and feelings that create significant problems in different areas of your life, and these have affected you for more than a few days or weeks.

Coping With The Holidays After The Death Of A Loved One

These suggestions were provided by Janice Harris Lord, a licensed clinical social worker (LCSW-ACSW) and professional counselor (LPC) in Texas. Lord's guidance is for those who have experienced profound loss entering the holiday season.

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NMVVRC - NATIONAL MASS VIOLENCE VICTIMIZATION RESOURCE CENTER

Managing Distress

Describes several techniques for managing unpleasant emotions that may arise after direct or vicarious exposure to traumatic events, including mass violence.

Read This

Mindfulness and Meditation

This guide dives into the benefits of meditation, and how to incorporate the practice into your daily routines.

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RED CROSS

Taking Care of your Emotional Health After a Disaster

Describes the feelings and emotions that a survivor may be experiencing after a disaster, and provides tips for taking action to overcome these. This tip sheet also suggests steps to follow if you or your loved one needs additional help to improve their emotional health.

Read This

THE NATIONAL SLEEP FOUNDATION

Trauma and Sleep

Describes common sleep problems following trauma and provides trauma-informed sleep tips for survivors.

Read This

Trauma Sensitive Mindfulness and Meditation

When there has been a life changing event like a mass violence crime, it is common to relive conversations or experiences in the past and to worry about the future. Being able to find mental and physical calm is an important part of resilience.

Open

Mass violence incidents can be especially difficult for children and teenagers. Parents and caregivers can play an important role in the recovery process. These resources can help parents and caregivers understand common behaviors and reactions their child may have and how to help them cope.

NCTSN - NATIONAL CHILD TRAUMATIC STRESS NETWORK

Parent Guidelines for Helping Youth after the Recent Shooting

Describes common reactions experienced by children and teens following involvement in a mass shooting, and suggests things that parents and caregivers can do for their child to help them cope. Self-help tips for parents and caregivers are also provided.

Read This

NCSCB – NATIONAL CENTER FOR SCHOOL CRISIS AND BEREAVEMENT

Talking to Kids about Tragedies (Such as Shootings and Terror Attacks) in the News

This guide offers insight and suggestions for how to handle talking to children in relation to tragic events, such as shootings and terrorist attacks, that they are likely to hear about at school and/or on the news.

Read This

NCSCB – NATIONAL CENTER FOR SCHOOL CRISIS AND BEREAVEMENT

After a Loved One Dies – Parent Booklet

This guide reviews how children grieve and how parents and other caring adults can help them better understand and adjust to a death. The information this guide provides can help parents and adults who are part of the lives of children who have experienced a loss know what to expect and how to help.

Read This

NCSCB – NATIONAL CENTER FOR SCHOOL CRISIS AND BEREAVEMENT

Guidelines for Responding to the Death of a Student or School Staff

These guidelines are designed to help school administrators, teachers, and crisis team members respond to the needs of students and staff after a loss has impacted the school environment, such as after the death of a student or staff member or when deaths occur that affect many people in the community.

Read This

NCSCB – NATIONAL CENTER FOR SCHOOL CRISIS AND BEREAVEMENT

Guidelines for Educators for Supporting Grieving Students Over the Holidays

Teachers and school staff are uniquely poised to observe grief responses over time and can take steps to anticipate challenges. The support and understanding that educators offer grieving students over the holidays can be especially helpful.

Read This

NCSCB – NATIONAL CENTER FOR SCHOOL CRISIS AND BEREAVEMENT

Teacher Training Module: Supporting Grieving Students in Schools

Free professional development presentations, complete with speaker notes, that provide information for teachers and school staff on how to support grieving students.

Read This

NCTSN – NATIONAL CHILD TRAUMATIC STRESS NETWORK

Self-Care Strategies for Teachers and Providers

Provides self-care strategies for teachers or providers who are helping students cope after a traumatic event.

Read This

NCTSN - NATIONAL CHILD TRAUMATIC STRESS NETWORK

Helping Young Children with Traumatic Grief: Tips for Caregivers

Helps parents and caregivers recognize traumatic grief responses in young children and provides tips for helping the child cope with their loss.

Read This

NCTSN - NATIONAL CHILD TRAUMATIC STRESS NETWORK

Tips for Parents on Media Coverage: Shooting

Offers information about media coverage following a shooting and details what parents and caregivers can do to protect their children. This tip sheet also provides recommendations for families that have become part of the media’s story.

Read This

NCTSN - NATIONAL CHILD TRAUMATIC STRESS NETWORK

Helping School-Age Children with Traumatic Grief: Tips for Caregivers

Helps parents and caregivers recognize traumatic grief responses in school-age children and provides tips for helping the child cope with their loss.

Read This

NCTSN - NATIONAL CHILD TRAUMATIC STRESS NETWORK

Psychological Impact of the Recent Shooting

Describes the psychological impact that a shooting has on children and families. Outlines common reactions to shootings such as posttraumatic stress reactions, grief reactions, depression, physical symptoms, trauma and loss reminders, traumatic grief, post-disaster adversities, and coping after catastrophic violence.

Read This

NCTSN - NATIONAL CHILD TRAUMATIC STRESS NETWORK

Helping Teens with Traumatic Grief: Tips for Caregivers

Helps parents and caregivers recognize traumatic grief responses in teens and provides tips for helping the teen cope with their loss.

Read This

NCTSN - NATIONAL CHILD TRAUMATIC STRESS NETWORK

Talking to Children about Mass Violence

Offers guidance and helpful tips on how to talk to children about mass violence and when to seek extra help.

Read This

NCTSN - NATIONAL CHILD TRAUMATIC STRESS NETWORK

Talking to Children about the Shooting

Offers guidance and helpful tips on how to talk to children about a shooting and when to seek extra help.

Read This

NCTSN - NATIONAL CHILD TRAUMATIC STRESS NETWORK

Tip Sheet for Youth Talking to Journalists about the Shooting

Provides tips for youth, parents, and caregivers on how to interact with journalists after a mass violence event or shooting. Helps parents and children identify a good reporter and better understand their rights when conducting an interview.

Read This

NCTSN - NATIONAL CHILD TRAUMATIC STRESS NETWORK

After a Crisis: Helping Young Children Heal

Provides information on how to help young children heal after a traumatic event.

Read This

NCTSN - NATIONAL CHILD TRAUMATIC STRESS NETWORK

Parent Guidelines for Helping Youth After Mass Violence Attack

Describes common reactions experienced by children and teens following involvement in a mass violence incident, and suggests things that parents and caregivers can do for their child to help them cope. Self-help tips for parents and caregivers are also provided.

Read This

CHILDREN’S BUREAU

Parenting a Child Who Has Experienced Trauma

Provides information on types of trauma and the effects of trauma on children and youth. Tips for helping a child who has experienced trauma are also provided.

Read This

CHILD MIND INSTITUTE

Helping Children Cope After a Traumatic Event

Offers information on helping children cope after a traumatic event including what to expect, how to help and what to look out for.

Read This

NASP - NATIONAL ASSOCIATION OF SCHOOL PSYCHOLOGISTS

Talking to Children About Violence: Tips for Parents and Teachers

Offers tips for talking with children about violence, including specific points to emphasize in conversations following the violent event.

Read This

SAMHSA - SUBSTANCE ABUSE AND MENTAL HEALTH SERVICES ADMINISTRATION

Tips for Talking With and Helping Children and Youth Cope After a Disaster or Traumatic Event: A Guide for Parents, Caregivers and Teachers

Helps parents and caregivers recognize common reactions of children after experiencing a disaster or traumatic event.

Read This

NCTSN – NATIONAL CHILD TRAUMATIC STRESS NETWORK

Talking to Children about Hate Crimes and Anti-Semitism

Provides tips on talking to children about anti-Semitism including how to start the conversation, how to gently correct inaccurate information, understanding common reactions children may have after mass violence, how to answer questions directly, how to be a positive role model, and empowering children and teens.

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NCTSN - NATIONAL CHILD TRAUMATIC STRESS NETWORK

Helping Youth After Community Trauma: Tips for Educators

Lists common reactions educators might see in the students with whom they work and suggestions on how they may help after community trauma. This tip sheet describes how traumatic events, such as a natural disaster, school violence, or the traumatic death of a peer or educator, can affect students’ learning, behavior, and relationships.

Read This

NCTSN - NATIONAL CHILD TRAUMATIC STRESS NETWORK

Guiding Adults in Talking to Children About Death and Attending Services

Provides ways to navigate questions about death, funerals, and memorials for children. This fact sheet discusses this challenging, but manageable, task and includes sample questions and answers to help guide discussions.

Read This

Supporting Children After Mass Violence Events: Resources for Educators

The combination of life-threatening traumatic personal experiences, loss of loved ones, disruption of routines and expectations of daily life, and post-violence adversities pose psychological challenges to the recovery of children and families in the affected areas. This tip sheet offers guidance to navigating through recovery after a mass violence event.

Open

CRIME SURVIVORS, INC.

Dealing with the Media – Your Rights

Read This

PRIFYSGOL BANGOR UNIVERSITY

Tips for Talking to the Media

Read This

THE NATIONAL CHILD TRAUMATIC STRESS NETWORK

Tips for Youth (How to talk to journalists after mass violence)

Read This

Self-help applications are not a substitute for face-to-face treatment from a mental health professional, but those affected by mass violence incidents may find that these tools help with the recovery process.

Logo for the Transcend NMVC mobile app

TRANSCEND

The NMVVRC has developed the Transcend app to assist with recovery from the psychological and behavioral response that can occur following direct or indirect exposure to mass violence incidents. Although the app was developed specifically for mass violence victims, people exposed to other types of stressful events are also likely to find the strategies and techniques in the app to be useful in their recovery, as well.

Other mobile self-help apps that we recommend:

*The following applications were not created by the National Mass Violence Victimization Resource Center. Technical support for these programs therefore cannot be provided by NMVVRC faculty or staff. Please seek assistance from a medical professional if symptoms persist or worsen.

Logo for Headspace

Headspace

Headspace is an app that teaches you how to relax and practice mindfulness.

Download it for free here:

Logo for CBT-i, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia

Cbt-i Coach

This app is for people who are engaged in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia with a health provider, or who have experienced sleep difficulties and would like to improve their sleep habits.

Download it for free here:

Logo for the PTSD Coach mobile app by the US Department of Veterans Affairs

PTSD Coach

The PTSD Coach app can help you learn about and manage your trauma-related symptoms, such as nightmares, intrusive thoughts or images about the trauma, and high levels of anxiety or arousal. This app provides tips and coping strategies, as well as tools for tracking your symptoms.

Download it for free here:

Promotional image for E-Couch.

E-COUCH

This free, web-based application provides self-help lessons for depression, general anxiety and social anxiety, as well as for divorce/separation and loss/bereavement.

Access eCouch here:

https://ecouch.anu.edu.au/welcome

Grief and Loss Suggested Reading List

The following is a reading list of self-help books that may provide comfort. This list is not comprehensive.

Click here for a downloadable version of this list. 

 

For adults who have lost a loved one

Title

Author(s)

Publisher

Publication Year

A Grief Like No Other: Surviving the Violent Death of Someone You Love

Kathleen O’Hara and Dan Gottlieb

Marlow & Company

2006

Bearing the Unbearable: Love, Loss and the Heartbreaking Path of Grief

Joanne Cacciatore

Simon and Schuster

2017

Grieving Mindfully: A Compassionate and Spiritual Guide to Coping with Loss

Sameet M. Kumar

Harbinger Publications, Inc.

2005

Healing Your Traumatized Heart: 100 Practical Ideas After Someone You Love Dies a Sudden, Violent Death

Alan D. Wolfelt

Compassion Press

2002

How to Go on Living When Someone You Love Dies

Therese A. Rando

Bantam

1991

I Wasn’t Ready to Say Goodbye: Surviving, Coping and Healing After the Sudden Death of a Loved One

Brook Noel and Pamela Blair

Champion Press

2000

It’s OK That You’re Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn’t Understand

Megan Devine

Sounds True

2017

Lessons of Loss: A Guide to Coping

Robert Neimeyer

Brunner Routledge

2002

Living with Grief: After Sudden Loss

Kenneth Doka

Hospice Foundation of America

1996

Men and Grief: A Guide for Men Surviving the Death of a Loved One: A Resource for Caregivers and Mental Health Professionals

Carol Staudacher

 

1991

Murder Survivor’s Handbook: Real-Life Stories, Tips & Resources

Connie Saindon

Wigeon Publishing

2014

No Time for Goodbyes: Coping with Sorrow, Anger, and Injustice After a Tragic Death

Janice Harris Lord

Pathfinder Publishing

2001, Seventh Edition, 2014

Surviving Holidays, Birthdays and Anniversaries: A Guide for Grieving During Special Occasions

Brook Noel

Fredonia: Champion Press, LTD

2003

The Sudden Loss Survival Guide: Seven Essential Practices for Healing Grief

Chelsea Hanson

Mago Publishing

2020

What to Do when the Police Leave: A Guide to the First Days of Traumatic Loss

Bill Jenkins

WBJ Press

2001

When Grief is Complicated

Kenneth Doka and Amy Tucci

Hospice Foundation of America

2018

When There Are No Words: Finding Your Way to Cope with Loss and Grief

Charlie Walton

Pathfinder Publishing

1996

 

For children and teenagers dealing with loss

Title

Author(s)

Publisher

Publication Year

After Murder: A Workbook for Grieving Kids

Dougy Center for Grieving Children

Dougy Center

2001

Bereaved Children and Teens: A Support Guide for Parents and Professionals

Earl A Grollman

Beacon Press

1996

Helping Children Cope with Death and 35 Ways to Help a Grieving Child

Dougy Center for Grieving Children

Dougy Center

1999

Resources for Kids

 

Available online: https://www.dougy.org/grief-support-resources/kids

Dougy Center for Grieving Children

Dougy Center

2020

Straight Talk about Death for Teenagers: How to Cope with Losing Someone You Love

Earl A Grollman

Beacon Press

1993

The grieving teen: A guide for teenagers and their friends.

Helen Fitzgerald

Simon and Schuster

2001

When Something Terrible Happens: Children Can Learn to Cope with Grief

Marge Eaton Heegaard

Woodland Press

1991

 

Informational Videos, Webinars and Testimonials

Title

Author(s)

Producer

Link

After my husband was murdered

Dionne Wilson

TED Conferences

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=USSLb-nOsRA

Aftermath of a Murder: Survivor Stories; Supporting Loss by Homicide

Karen Weibe

YouTube

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LDx7VLjrP5s

Individual and collective trauma: Coping with homicide due to gun violence in African American communities

Tanya L. Sharpe

DART Center for Journalism & Trauma

https://dartcenter.org/resources/individual-and-collective-trauma-coping-homicide-african-american-communities

Losing a loved one to homicide. What we know from research and practice

Marina Duane and Sara Bastomski

Office for Victims of Crime

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xNcEXT5PH1c

 

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