Self-Help
The path to recovery is different for every victim of a mass violence incident. Self-help resources may be useful as a way to begin your own healing process or to provide help to a child or someone close to you. These resources are not a substitute for treatment from a health care professional, but they may help you learn important skills and coping strategies.
For information about crisis counseling, victim assistance services, legal assistance, or finding a therapist, click here.
People may have a variety of reactions after a mass violence incident. These reactions may be experienced by:
- Victims who were directly affected by the incident
- Family, friends and others who are closely associated with a victim
- People who witnessed or heard details about the incident
The following tip sheets can help you understand common trauma reactions that people may have after a mass violence incident.
Twelve Self-Help Tips for Coping
For Teens: Coping After Mass Violence
NCTSN - NATIONAL CHILD TRAUMATIC STRESS NETWORK
College Students: Coping after the Recent Shooting
Offers information for college students on how to cope after involvement in a shooting. This fact sheet provides information on common trauma reactions, and what they can do for themselves.
Read ThisSAMHSA - SUBSTANCE ABUSE AND MENTAL HEALTH SERVICES ADMINISTRATION
Tips for Survivors of a Disaster or Other Traumatic Event: Managing Stress
Describes possible emotional, physical and behavioral reactions to a disaster or traumatic event to help survivors identify early warning signs of stress, and provides practical tips for relieving this stress.
Read ThisSAMHSA - SUBSTANCE ABUSE AND MENTAL HEALTH SERVICES ADMINISTRATION
Tips for Survivors: Coping with Grief after a Traumatic Event
Provides information about grief, the grieving process and complicated or traumatic grief. It also offers practical coping tips for those who are personally experiencing grief following involvement in a traumatic event.
Read ThisSAMHSA - SUBSTANCE ABUSE AND MENTAL HEALTH SERVICES ADMINISTRATION
Tips for Survivors of a Disaster or Traumatic Event: What to Expect in Your Personal, Family, Work and Financial Life
Helps survivors of disasters or traumatic events better understand what to expect in their personal, family, work and financial lives in the days and weeks after the incident. Provides tips for coping with and managing these changes, and details signs that may show that a survivor needs more help managing their stress.
Read ThisThe following tip sheets describe strategies that may help someone cope after a mass violence incident. Everyone is different. What works for some may not work for others.
Professional treatment may be helpful to you if you have had troubling thoughts and feelings that create significant problems in different areas of your life, and these have affected you for more than a few days or weeks.
Coping With The Holidays After The Death Of A Loved One
NMVVRC - NATIONAL MASS VIOLENCE VICTIMIZATION RESOURCE CENTER
Managing Distress
Describes several techniques for managing unpleasant emotions that may arise after direct or vicarious exposure to traumatic events, including mass violence.
Read ThisMindfulness and Meditation
RED CROSS
Taking Care of your Emotional Health After a Disaster
Describes the feelings and emotions that a survivor may be experiencing after a disaster, and provides tips for taking action to overcome these. This tip sheet also suggests steps to follow if you or your loved one needs additional help to improve their emotional health.
Read ThisTHE NATIONAL SLEEP FOUNDATION
Trauma and Sleep
Describes common sleep problems following trauma and provides trauma-informed sleep tips for survivors.
Read ThisTrauma Sensitive Mindfulness and Meditation
Mass violence incidents can be especially difficult for children and teenagers. Parents and caregivers can play an important role in the recovery process. These resources can help parents and caregivers understand common behaviors and reactions their child may have and how to help them cope.
NCTSN - NATIONAL CHILD TRAUMATIC STRESS NETWORK
Parent Guidelines for Helping Youth after the Recent Shooting
Describes common reactions experienced by children and teens following involvement in a mass shooting, and suggests things that parents and caregivers can do for their child to help them cope. Self-help tips for parents and caregivers are also provided.
Read ThisNCSCB – NATIONAL CENTER FOR SCHOOL CRISIS AND BEREAVEMENT
Talking to Kids about Tragedies (Such as Shootings and Terror Attacks) in the News
This guide offers insight and suggestions for how to handle talking to children in relation to tragic events, such as shootings and terrorist attacks, that they are likely to hear about at school and/or on the news.
Read ThisNCSCB – NATIONAL CENTER FOR SCHOOL CRISIS AND BEREAVEMENT
After a Loved One Dies – Parent Booklet
This guide reviews how children grieve and how parents and other caring adults can help them better understand and adjust to a death. The information this guide provides can help parents and adults who are part of the lives of children who have experienced a loss know what to expect and how to help.
Read ThisNCSCB – NATIONAL CENTER FOR SCHOOL CRISIS AND BEREAVEMENT
Guidelines for Responding to the Death of a Student or School Staff
These guidelines are designed to help school administrators, teachers, and crisis team members respond to the needs of students and staff after a loss has impacted the school environment, such as after the death of a student or staff member or when deaths occur that affect many people in the community.
Read ThisNCSCB – NATIONAL CENTER FOR SCHOOL CRISIS AND BEREAVEMENT
Guidelines for Educators for Supporting Grieving Students Over the Holidays
Teachers and school staff are uniquely poised to observe grief responses over time and can take steps to anticipate challenges. The support and understanding that educators offer grieving students over the holidays can be especially helpful.
Read ThisNCSCB – NATIONAL CENTER FOR SCHOOL CRISIS AND BEREAVEMENT
Teacher Training Module: Supporting Grieving Students in Schools
Free professional development presentations, complete with speaker notes, that provide information for teachers and school staff on how to support grieving students.
Read ThisNCTSN – NATIONAL CHILD TRAUMATIC STRESS NETWORK
Self-Care Strategies for Teachers and Providers
Provides self-care strategies for teachers or providers who are helping students cope after a traumatic event.
Read ThisNCTSN - NATIONAL CHILD TRAUMATIC STRESS NETWORK
Helping Young Children with Traumatic Grief: Tips for Caregivers
Helps parents and caregivers recognize traumatic grief responses in young children and provides tips for helping the child cope with their loss.
Read ThisNCTSN - NATIONAL CHILD TRAUMATIC STRESS NETWORK
Tips for Parents on Media Coverage: Shooting
Offers information about media coverage following a shooting and details what parents and caregivers can do to protect their children. This tip sheet also provides recommendations for families that have become part of the media’s story.
Read ThisNCTSN - NATIONAL CHILD TRAUMATIC STRESS NETWORK
Helping School-Age Children with Traumatic Grief: Tips for Caregivers
Helps parents and caregivers recognize traumatic grief responses in school-age children and provides tips for helping the child cope with their loss.
Read ThisNCTSN - NATIONAL CHILD TRAUMATIC STRESS NETWORK
Psychological Impact of the Recent Shooting
Describes the psychological impact that a shooting has on children and families. Outlines common reactions to shootings such as posttraumatic stress reactions, grief reactions, depression, physical symptoms, trauma and loss reminders, traumatic grief, post-disaster adversities, and coping after catastrophic violence.
Read ThisNCTSN - NATIONAL CHILD TRAUMATIC STRESS NETWORK
Helping Teens with Traumatic Grief: Tips for Caregivers
Helps parents and caregivers recognize traumatic grief responses in teens and provides tips for helping the teen cope with their loss.
Read ThisNCTSN - NATIONAL CHILD TRAUMATIC STRESS NETWORK
Talking to Children about Mass Violence
Offers guidance and helpful tips on how to talk to children about mass violence and when to seek extra help.
Read ThisNCTSN - NATIONAL CHILD TRAUMATIC STRESS NETWORK
Talking to Children about the Shooting
Offers guidance and helpful tips on how to talk to children about a shooting and when to seek extra help.
Read ThisNCTSN - NATIONAL CHILD TRAUMATIC STRESS NETWORK
Tip Sheet for Youth Talking to Journalists about the Shooting
Provides tips for youth, parents, and caregivers on how to interact with journalists after a mass violence event or shooting. Helps parents and children identify a good reporter and better understand their rights when conducting an interview.
Read ThisNCTSN - NATIONAL CHILD TRAUMATIC STRESS NETWORK
After a Crisis: Helping Young Children Heal
Provides information on how to help young children heal after a traumatic event.
Read ThisNCTSN - NATIONAL CHILD TRAUMATIC STRESS NETWORK
Parent Guidelines for Helping Youth After Mass Violence Attack
Describes common reactions experienced by children and teens following involvement in a mass violence incident, and suggests things that parents and caregivers can do for their child to help them cope. Self-help tips for parents and caregivers are also provided.
Read ThisCHILDREN’S BUREAU
Parenting a Child Who Has Experienced Trauma
Provides information on types of trauma and the effects of trauma on children and youth. Tips for helping a child who has experienced trauma are also provided.
Read ThisCHILD MIND INSTITUTE
Helping Children Cope After a Traumatic Event
Offers information on helping children cope after a traumatic event including what to expect, how to help and what to look out for.
Read ThisNASP - NATIONAL ASSOCIATION OF SCHOOL PSYCHOLOGISTS
Talking to Children About Violence: Tips for Parents and Teachers
Offers tips for talking with children about violence, including specific points to emphasize in conversations following the violent event.
Read ThisSAMHSA - SUBSTANCE ABUSE AND MENTAL HEALTH SERVICES ADMINISTRATION
Tips for Talking With and Helping Children and Youth Cope After a Disaster or Traumatic Event: A Guide for Parents, Caregivers and Teachers
Helps parents and caregivers recognize common reactions of children after experiencing a disaster or traumatic event.
Read ThisNCTSN – NATIONAL CHILD TRAUMATIC STRESS NETWORK
Talking to Children about Hate Crimes and Anti-Semitism
Provides tips on talking to children about anti-Semitism including how to start the conversation, how to gently correct inaccurate information, understanding common reactions children may have after mass violence, how to answer questions directly, how to be a positive role model, and empowering children and teens.
Read ThisNCTSN - NATIONAL CHILD TRAUMATIC STRESS NETWORK
Helping Youth After Community Trauma: Tips for Educators
Lists common reactions educators might see in the students with whom they work and suggestions on how they may help after community trauma. This tip sheet describes how traumatic events, such as a natural disaster, school violence, or the traumatic death of a peer or educator, can affect students’ learning, behavior, and relationships.
Read ThisNCTSN - NATIONAL CHILD TRAUMATIC STRESS NETWORK
Guiding Adults in Talking to Children About Death and Attending Services
Provides ways to navigate questions about death, funerals, and memorials for children. This fact sheet discusses this challenging, but manageable, task and includes sample questions and answers to help guide discussions.
Read ThisSupporting Children After Mass Violence Events: Resources for Educators
Self-help applications are not a substitute for face-to-face treatment from a mental health professional, but those affected by mass violence incidents may find that these tools help with the recovery process.
TRANSCEND
The NMVVRC has developed the Transcend app to assist with recovery from the psychological and behavioral response that can occur following direct or indirect exposure to mass violence incidents. Although the app was developed specifically for mass violence victims, people exposed to other types of stressful events are also likely to find the strategies and techniques in the app to be useful in their recovery, as well.
Other mobile self-help apps that we recommend:
*The following applications were not created by the National Mass Violence Victimization Resource Center. Technical support for these programs therefore cannot be provided by NMVVRC faculty or staff. Please seek assistance from a medical professional if symptoms persist or worsen.
PTSD Coach
The PTSD Coach app can help you learn about and manage your trauma-related symptoms, such as nightmares, intrusive thoughts or images about the trauma, and high levels of anxiety or arousal. This app provides tips and coping strategies, as well as tools for tracking your symptoms.
Download it for free here:
E-COUCH
This free, web-based application provides self-help lessons for depression, general anxiety and social anxiety, as well as for divorce/separation and loss/bereavement.
Access eCouch here:
https://ecouch.anu.edu.au/welcomeGrief and Loss Suggested Reading List
The following is a reading list of self-help books that may provide comfort. This list is not comprehensive.
Click here for a downloadable version of this list.
For adults who have lost a loved one
Title |
Author(s) |
Publisher |
Publication Year |
A Grief Like No Other: Surviving the Violent Death of Someone You Love |
Kathleen O’Hara and Dan Gottlieb |
Marlow & Company |
2006 |
Bearing the Unbearable: Love, Loss and the Heartbreaking Path of Grief |
Joanne Cacciatore |
Simon and Schuster |
2017 |
Grieving Mindfully: A Compassionate and Spiritual Guide to Coping with Loss |
Sameet M. Kumar |
Harbinger Publications, Inc. |
2005 |
Healing Your Traumatized Heart: 100 Practical Ideas After Someone You Love Dies a Sudden, Violent Death |
Alan D. Wolfelt |
Compassion Press |
2002 |
How to Go on Living When Someone You Love Dies |
Therese A. Rando |
Bantam |
1991 |
I Wasn’t Ready to Say Goodbye: Surviving, Coping and Healing After the Sudden Death of a Loved One |
Brook Noel and Pamela Blair |
Champion Press |
2000 |
It’s OK That You’re Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn’t Understand |
Megan Devine |
Sounds True |
2017 |
Lessons of Loss: A Guide to Coping |
Robert Neimeyer |
Brunner Routledge |
2002 |
Living with Grief: After Sudden Loss |
Kenneth Doka |
Hospice Foundation of America |
1996 |
Men and Grief: A Guide for Men Surviving the Death of a Loved One: A Resource for Caregivers and Mental Health Professionals |
Carol Staudacher |
|
1991 |
Murder Survivor’s Handbook: Real-Life Stories, Tips & Resources |
Connie Saindon |
Wigeon Publishing |
2014 |
No Time for Goodbyes: Coping with Sorrow, Anger, and Injustice After a Tragic Death |
Janice Harris Lord |
Pathfinder Publishing |
2001, Seventh Edition, 2014 |
Surviving Holidays, Birthdays and Anniversaries: A Guide for Grieving During Special Occasions |
Brook Noel |
Fredonia: Champion Press, LTD |
2003 |
The Sudden Loss Survival Guide: Seven Essential Practices for Healing Grief |
Chelsea Hanson |
Mago Publishing |
2020 |
What to Do when the Police Leave: A Guide to the First Days of Traumatic Loss |
Bill Jenkins |
WBJ Press |
2001 |
When Grief is Complicated |
Kenneth Doka and Amy Tucci |
Hospice Foundation of America |
2018 |
When There Are No Words: Finding Your Way to Cope with Loss and Grief |
Charlie Walton |
Pathfinder Publishing |
1996 |
For children and teenagers dealing with loss
Title |
Author(s) |
Publisher |
Publication Year |
After Murder: A Workbook for Grieving Kids |
Dougy Center for Grieving Children |
Dougy Center |
2001 |
Bereaved Children and Teens: A Support Guide for Parents and Professionals |
Earl A Grollman |
Beacon Press |
1996 |
Helping Children Cope with Death and 35 Ways to Help a Grieving Child |
Dougy Center for Grieving Children |
Dougy Center |
1999 |
Resources for Kids
Available online: https://www.dougy.org/grief-support-resources/kids |
Dougy Center for Grieving Children |
Dougy Center |
2020 |
Straight Talk about Death for Teenagers: How to Cope with Losing Someone You Love |
Earl A Grollman |
Beacon Press |
1993 |
The grieving teen: A guide for teenagers and their friends. |
Helen Fitzgerald |
Simon and Schuster |
2001 |
When Something Terrible Happens: Children Can Learn to Cope with Grief |
Marge Eaton Heegaard |
Woodland Press |
1991 |
Informational Videos, Webinars and Testimonials
Title |
Author(s) |
Producer |
Link |
After my husband was murdered |
Dionne Wilson |
TED Conferences |
|
Aftermath of a Murder: Survivor Stories; Supporting Loss by Homicide |
Karen Weibe |
YouTube |
|
Individual and collective trauma: Coping with homicide due to gun violence in African American communities |
Tanya L. Sharpe |
DART Center for Journalism & Trauma |
|
Losing a loved one to homicide. What we know from research and practice |
Marina Duane and Sara Bastomski |
Office for Victims of Crime |